Raw Honesty

Do you ever struggle on the inside when you read about the life of Christ and then evaluate your own? I woke up this morning with such a discontent at the soul level. I wrestle between the person that I am, and the one I long to be...and I wonder if that gap will ever shrink! If the goal of our Christianity is to become like Jesus, I sure am looking a lot like myself. It's easy to admire and even worship Jesus, and still not do the things He did. I'm challenged by His enormous love and disturbed by the smallness of my own. If Jesus really said that the last will be first, why do I work so hard at being first? The more I read Scripture, the more I feel God shaking up my nice and neat, wrinkle-free life.